Emotionally Stunted?

I spent the evening with Thomas, my secondary boyfriend, two night ago.  Sadly, Thomas is emotionally stunted.  No, that's not true.  He is not emotionally stunted.  He just has a hard time expressing his emotions, which make him seem emotionally stunted.  Every once in a while, he reveals something deeply emotional to me & I am surprised, because it's always unexpected.

Thomas grew up in a household in which emotions were not accepted, nor supported.  He never saw his parents hold hands & his father was a functional alcoholic.  He was marreid for 5 years in his early 20's to a women 10 years older than he.  She was caught cheating on him.  When he asked her to stop, she said she did, but continued.  Their marriage ended in divorce.  All of those factors have created Thomas, a grown man without the ability to express his emotions.

I know that I scare Thomas.  I think he believes that I make him weak, because I create very strong emottions in him.  So strong he is not able to share them with me, for fear of rejection.  When we lived together, 10 years ago, he would tell me he loved me, when he thought I was sleeping.  That's how afriad he was of my response.

I have learned to accept his failing, mostly due to my relationship with James.  James freely emotionally vomits on me.  Without that very human connection, I would be lost.  For my part, I have told Thomas that I am in love him, without expecting a reponse, which he predictably did not deliver.  I also give him lost of hugs & little kisses.  Perhaps one day he will be comfortable doing those things for me, without prompting.  If not, I still have Thomas :)