"Not while you are alive!"

My mother has decided to start dating, for the first time, since my daddie died in January.  She called me a week ago & wanted to know if I wanted to "remain a daughter or become a friend".  Never hearing that question before, I pressed her for more information.  She said she had joined e-harmony & was interested in having James & me, go on a double date with her & her suitor.   I happily agreed.  Isn't that too cute?

I asked her to tell me about her suitor.  She said his name is John & he lives two states away.  When I mentioned that I had difficulty doing long distance relationships, she said that would be no problem, considering she had enough money to rent an apartment local to John for several months.  My mother is such as bad ass.

I then asked her to describe John.  Once she did, I paused for a moment & asked, "Is Daddie dead?"  Perplexed, she replied "Yeah, I am pretty sure I kissed him good-bye on his death bed.  Why do you ask?"  She had just described Daddie perfectly, except obviously John was alive.

I asked my mom if she would tell my brother about her dating.  She said, "Absolutely not.  He would never understand."  I giggled & said, "There are moments in our lives we  remember forever.  This is one of them for me.  As a parent, you can never tell a child if they are more favored above another.  However, by you sharing your plans with me & not with my brother, you are telling me you like me more."  She did not agree, but instead said, "You won't tell him."  I answered, "Not while you are alive!"

Sushi, Cheeseburgers & Sex

I never realized how much food could be a key to a person’s personality.  I recently without success, started going out with two boys.

After several weeks of gentle coercing, the first willing decided to go to a sushi restaurant, if he could be guaranteed that they had vegetarian sushi.  Luckily, this particular restaurant had a vegetarian sushi platter.  He ordered & enjoyed everything, although he refused the mushrooms.  I also failed to tell him that I had slipped three seafood bites on his platter.  He loved those the most.  I decided not to tell him, because if our relationship continued, he would be angry at me for not being honest & sabotaging his stanch food regiment.  I knew at that point, if a boy was not willing to retry something he did not like from years ago, he was probably not the best choice for me.  That relationship continued for a few weeks, until we decided we were not a good match, considering he was focused on his job & being obsessed with another wench.

On the first date, with the second boy, we went to an Olive Garden.  Now, I would not really consider that the best choice on his behalf.  I don’t think I would run home & coo to my girlfriends “He such a nice guy & he took me to an Olive Garden for dinner!”  However, I quickly realized that his taste in food was limited to “American” & Italian.  While at the Olive Garden, he ordered a dish that was not on the menu.  He ordered spaghetti with plain sauce.  In my head I am thinking “You must be joking.  You are ordering a meal you could have made at home.  How boring.”  That should have been a clue right there.  However, hope springs eternal & I decided to take him for another test run at a local museum.  After the museum, we decided to eat at a more upscale restaurant.  There he ordered a cheeseburger, without the cheese & no tomatoes.  Then, I pointed out two appetizers I was interested in getting, one being the spinach & crab dip, the other being the hummus.  I asked which on he preferred, he replied that he did not like either.  When I asked him to pick something he would enjoy, he went for the most pedestrian choice:  Buffalo wings.  Even those ended up being too spicy for him.  In my head, I was thinking “Really?!”   After the meal, I told him I really enjoyed his time & energy.  However, I was not interested in him romantically.  If a boy is unwilling to have a little meat in his spaghetti sauce & cheese on his cheeseburger, what is he unwilling to have in bed?

Whoring & Dating

Recently, a member of the escort industry contacted me, wanting to develop a personal relationship. As I tell everyone, please go to OKCupid to get started. Most people do & then they fall short of my standards for seeing me in person. However, he took me up on my request & now I am screwed. I know that we had a connection in the industry. I did not know that we are more compatible then I realized. The only problem is he still participates in the industry heavily, whoring whenever the funds allow. 

I really want to remove myself from the industry completely. I believe my arrest was a bitchslap from the universe & my cheek is still healing. He on the other hand, loves whatever the industry has given him. I cannot see him staying away from it.

I have no problem with my partners seeing whores. In fact, I think it’s rather healthy, as long as everyone is honest about it. My problem is I know he is a gossip or at least he was when I chatted with him. He likes whores because they make him feel important for a short period of time. He says that would not be the case. However, I do not know him well enough to judge that. My instinct tells me to just let this one go too.