Mushrooms & Sex

Thomas finally connected with me on a personal level, as we were leaving our out of own manual labor job, by email.  As you recall, many of my current & past lovers were on the job with me.  Thomas was our boss.

Thomas has this thing about not connecting with me on a personal level, when we are working together, not even a  hug.  However, 20 minutes after I was in the car, with James, heading home, he emailed me, wanting to know if I was available to see him that same night.  I declined, because I really wanted to relax from such a hard week.  I also wanted to reconnect with James. We did decide on seeing each other in 2 days.

I want to try something new with Thomas.  I want to take drugs with him, while having sex.  Thomas is my favorite sexual partner & he really drives me nuts, when we are doing the naughty.  I trust him completely & I know he can get a hold of any kind of drug we agree on, due to the nature of the industry he works in.  I guess I should mention that I am drug free & do not have an history of addiction.

I think I want to try mushrooms.

I either know everything or nothing.

My 16-year-old daughter, Virginia, & I have a relationship filled with lots of communication.  Sometimes I wish it weren't so.  Yesterday, after spending two nights with one of her friends, she told me she left the friend's home for a few hours to hotbox with a couple of guys in car.  

You know you are old, when you have to look up definitions in the Urban Dictionary:  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hotbox.  Obviously, I was not happy.  What got me most, beyond the illegal drug use, is that she was not in a safe place.  She mentioned smoking with two guys she trusted, but "going in & out of it".  I asked her "What if someone else got into the car with you, while you were out of it & then proceeded to do things to you, against your consent?"  She looked at me blankly.  I then said, "If anyone ever did anything to you, including rape, I would go after them, until someone was dead.  However, in the back of my mind, I would think, 'my child is an idiot for setting herself up' ".  More blank stares.

What finally got to her was the next morning, when I told her I was deeply disappointed.  She began to cry.  Will she smoke pot again?  Probably.  Will she maybe think about her surroundings a bit more?  Probably.

When I was holding my beautiful baby girl for the 1st time, I was thinking about diapers, pink, & bubbles, not "HOTBOXING!?!?"

"Hotboxing, Mommy?"