Max Come Unhinged

It seems that Max has become a bit unhinged, since we mutually decided we were not compatible enough to continue our relationship.  Once we decided that was indeed the case, I was in the process of trying up the loose ends to the relationship, specifically by collecting the $225.00 he owed me.  Little did I know that process would give me a great deal of insight into his mind.

When I tried to collect it the second time around, he disappeared for two weeks, after he gave me the impression I would get the money back in within the week.  Everyday, I sent one text a day to him, saying "When can I expect to see you?".  One one occasion, after not hearing from him for a week, I texted "I feel like you are intentionally ignoring & avoiding me.  If you have no intention of giving me the money, please let me know now."  When I found out that I would be in his area on the 26th, I added "I will be in the area on the 26th.  Are you available to give me the money?"

Eventually, he replied with "Oh my God!  I've been gone taking care of my family problems by drafting those documents and personally getting them to sign each contract.  Finished up, took some time for myself on the west coast, to come back to these texts.  Are you kidding me.  Oh by the way I'M FINE.  I'm going out my first night back, so if you need that money so bad bad, I have it.  Or I could drop it off with Thomas before I go to my concert.  I only need a short answer, I'm done with hearing my sister laugh at your texts."

Me:  I am available on the 26th.  Are you?

Max:  I'll drop it off with Thomas before the concert.

Me:  I would prefer that you did not.

Max:  Well then I'll try after the concert.

Me:  On the 26th?  I am available between 6:30pm & 10pm.

Max:  Well I'll drop it off quickly before the show.

Me:  Great.  I will make sure I am there at 6:30pm, so you do not have to waste much time.

Max:  Good.

Me:  BTW, me sending 1 text a day, after you gave me the impression I would get the $ within a week is not me needing the money "that damn bad", but more of me wanting to be done with the situation, after you chimed in and disappeared yet again.  I really hate feeling negative about people I genuinely liked.  I will not bother you again, once I receive the $.

Max:  ok

The 26th arrived & I heading to his area...

Me:  Heading your way.  I look forward to seeing you.

Max:  I'll see you.

Me:  Here.  Where do you want to meet?

Now, remember he wanted me to be at exactly 6:30pm, so he did not have to waste time dropping off the cash before the concert.  At 7pm, he replied...

Max:  I'll be upstairs, to say thanks to Thomas for the invite.

Me:  I am here at the upstairs bar.

At 7:43pm he replies

Max:  Sorry, saying hello and a cigarette.

Me:  Cool beans.  I already noticed you.

Yes, I already noticed him chatting amongst everyone else in the bar, except me.  Eventually, he sidled up next to me on the bar stool.  I gave the impression I was very happy to see him, giving him a warm hug & smile & asked him about his adventures with his family.  He chatted with me for about 10 minutes.  Then, he reached into his pocket for the cash, handing it to me.  I, as a good little whore, knew immediately that the cash was short, simply from it's weight.  I said nothing, giving him a hug as he disappeared into the bar again.  I then reached into my bag & counted the cash, with my suspicions being verified.  He shorted me $100.  I still said nothing.  I remained for another hour, being a social butterfly with my co-workers.  Max left 30 minutes before me.

two hours later, the text stared again...

Max:  So that was strange.  I'm sorry if you might hate me.  But I needed to be happy, by getting things done with family.  I'm sorry you are disappointed with me.

Me:  No worries.  Live long and prosper.

Max:  Ok. Bye.

Max:  I feel bad.  You were disappointed in me.

Me:  No need to feel bad.  Enjoy your evening.

Max:  I think I love you.

Me:  I think you are drunk texting me.

Max:  No just thought about you.  Sorry.

Me:  You thought about me and you came up with "love"?

Max:  Always

Me:  I think you need to give it a few months, then get back to me in the spring.

Max:  Okay.  Trying to be nice.  But whatever.  Have a good life.  Done.

Me:  Thank you for your kind words and your ability to share such a deeply emotional feeling.  I am flattered.  I think we need to let those feelings mature for a few months, before they are processed.

Max:  Come home.  Yell at me.

Me:  Why would I yell at you?

Max:  Because you care.

Me:  Caring does not equate to yelling.

Max:  But you would at me.  Again, come home.

Me:  I have no desire to yell at you.  Besides, you have enough of that from every other person in your life.  If you think that is okay, you are hanging out with the wrong people.

Me:  I need to sign off for the evening/morning.  This fat old broad needs her beauty sleep night night.

WTF?!  What the friggity frackity fuck?!  It took me several days to process the whole dynamic, but eventually I got some insight from my best friend, Richard, and my live in primary boyfriend, James.

Thomas' Employee Party

Tonight I will see Thomas at a party he is throwing for his employees, me among them.  I already asked if I can go home with him, knowing the answer would be no.  He did not disappoint.  Thomas has a thing about showing any favoritism towards his employees, particularly in public.  Although we have been sex partners for 12 years, he does not show me any attention in public, not even a hug.  He would not want anyone to think we were leaving the party together.  Perhaps I can convince him to let me join him later.

Beyond that, when we are together in bed, we are awesome.  In fact, since the whole Max thing, he has been even more attentive to me.  I am not sure if the two are related or if he even knows that Max & I are no longer seeing each other.

I am not naive.  I know the parameters of our relationship & I am not interested in changing Thomas.  Fortunately, I have my primary live in boyfriend, James, who is absolutely wonderful.  Because he is so wonderful, he gives me the ability to look at other relationship I have with a discerning eye.  Sometimes it's good to compare.

Relationship Ends with Max

It seems that my relationship with Max has come to an end, as fast as it began.  Because of the chaos of his family & legal fights, he has had no time for me, cancelling dates on a regular basis.  We both agreed that we could see a future for us, but not right now.  So, for the time being things have come to a stand still.  Although disappointed, I am not angry about the situation, considering I had not become emotionally attached to Max.

Cock Blocking by Thomas

As you recall, prior to my relationship beginning with Max, I went to my secondary boyfriend, Thomas, to see if me dating an acquaintance of his would make him uncomfortable.  Rather than having a conversation with me, he literally covered his face, with a blanket, & refused to discuss it, giving me the impression he was apathetic to the situation.

Guess what?!  I was completely wrong.  One evening, last week Max & Thomas found themselves in the same bar.  When Max entered, Thomas was sitting downstairs.  Feeling uncomfortable, Max avoided Thomas, by going upstairs.  Within 20 minutes, Thomas joined him.  

Knowing that Max had a date with me later that evening, Max told Thomas he had to leave to see me.  However, Thomas was not satisfied with that answer, so he started buying Max shots.  As the night grew longer, Max decided it was time to leave.  Heading home, he went outside to the main street & then turned the corner.  When he paused to light a cigarette, Thomas joined him, asking him to return to he bar.  He then bluntly said, "No, I am going to see Amanda".

Later, when I met Max & he described the evening events, I tried to come up with all sorts of reasons that Thomas may have behaved that way, such as he just wanted to hang out.  However, Max quickly corrected me, saying "He was cock blocking me, plain & simple"

Sigh...I wonder where all of this is going.

Who is Going to be the Victim?

Max & I have been with each other frequently over the last week, without having penetration sex.  Penetration sex is my key boundary, when having a romantic relationship with someone, knowing that I become emotionally attached to partners, when I do.  We have done everything else.  :)

After an hour long blowjob, without using my hands, Max said "That by far is the best blow job of my life."  I don't think he had much choice, consider I am a professional sexworker who only does blowjobs.  Furthermore, he wants to gets his penis inside my vagina, so I doubt he would say "That's horrible".

For Max's part, he loves eating pussy.  I swear to god, I have never met a guy who could do that for 45 minutes, without his jaw falling off, or without my twat going numb.  He accomplished both.

So, that's our on going battle.  Who is going to be the victim, since each of us love performing oral so much?

James & Max meet for the 1st Times

A few nights ago, Max met James for the first time, but not under the best circumstances.  James & I were at a sexworkers discussion group in the evening, when Max texted me.  I asked him if he would like to meet James & he agreed, although he said he was not "100%". Him being not 100% was an understatement.   He was drunk.

He watched football all day, with his drinking pals & fellow bartenders, so by the time we caught up to him around 9pm, he was not in the best of position to be met for the first time, but was entertaining, nonetheless.

When he finally sat down with us, he apologized profusely for his current demeanor, but continued to tell James, his intentions & how much he enjoyed me.  James & I were a bit naughty, as we typically are, teasing him a bit, which put him at ease.

In the end, James agreed that he liked Max & was comfortable with me continuing the relationship.

Max's First Sleepover

For logical reasons, I am spending my first overnight with Max, my guy crush, this evening.  Because I am working as a wrench wench late into the morning, perhaps 3am, & Max lives within a few blocks of where I will be working, it only makes sense to stay at his place, rather than driving 40 minutes home.

Max is fully aware of my parameters & knows I will not have sex with him, until we are checked for STDs & James, my primary partner, is accepting of the relationship.  Since we have only known each other for a few weeks, we are not even close to either of those things happening.

Max says all he really wants to do is hold & kiss me.  However, I am not dumb.  I know he also wants to put his penis inside of me.  I am very curious as to how things unfold.  A man that knows & accepts his potential partner's boundaries is very special.  I hope he can be that man :)

Max & I get comfortable

Max & I spent 5 hours with each other yesterday.  He said he is "taken" by me.  As a popular bartender in a large city, he is usually surrounded by woman who are not confident & want to jump into bed with him immediately.  I do not.  I want to go slowly.

I also seem to make him slightly, but excitingly, uncomfortable.  For example, when we went back to his place, after brunch, he sat all the way across the room from me, although I was sitting on a couch that could have accommodated both of us.  After we chatted for twenty minutes, I asked "Why did you choose to sit in that chair?"  His excuse was, "It's the most comfortable chair in the room"  When I cock my head to the side he continued, saying "I am used to people coming to me".  I replied "Please come sit next to me.  It would make me happy."  He responded with "I knew you were going to ask that.  Now that you have, I am going to stay here."  Eventually, he decided to join me on the coach & was rewarded with my touch.  However, it was "his idea".

Max it much like Thomas is.  He is guarded.  Hopefully, unlike Thomas, he will become comfortable with me & allow himself to get lost.

Thomas Disappoints

After waiting a week, I finally got the opportunity to talk to Thomas, my secondary boyfriend, about his friend, Max, dating me.  His response was not a surprise, but a HUGE disappointment.  While laying in bed, he covered his head like a small child & said, "I am well aware that Max wants to date you.  You think we have something to talk about with Max, but we do not.  I have nothing to do with that situation."  I was speechless.

As a healthy polyamorous person, communication is the cornerstone of my world.  In one moment, he completely disassociated me & seemingly went into denial.  I am completely happy with my actions.  I did what was necessary for me to be comfortable with the situation.  

I am not sure what to do with Thomas now, except I have downgraded him to booty call.  Perhaps Max will fill his spot.  Perhaps not.  It will be fun finding out one way of the other.

Introducing Max

A collision of worlds took place over the weekend.  Thomas, my secondary boyfriend & sometimes boss, invited his employees out to dinner to pick up their checks from a particularly large job.  While their, I sat next to Thomas & as usual he ignored me for the most part, as he turned his back to me & watched the game on TV, because he is very discreet & prefers other employees to not know we are having sex.

20 minutes into my meal & tall gentleman sat at our table & at first only spoke to Thomas, putting me in the middle of the conversation, because each of them was on either side of me & spoke to each other across the table.  Eventually, the gentleman & I began to speak.

It turns out he was one of Thomas's best friends & business acquaintances.  That concept is incredibly strange for me, because in the 11 years I have known Thomas I have never met someone in his personal life...ever.

Max & I had an instant connection.  Although he proclaimed to be very shy, reminding me he sat in the corner of the room intentionally, he opened up to me about every facet of his world.  We chatted two hours after everyone, including Thomas, had left.  By the end of our evening, it was quite clear that we were interested in having sex with each other.

I explained to Max that I am polyamorous & I consider Thomas, his friend, my secondary boyfriend, although I have no idea how Thomas considers me.  Because of that, in order to have sex with him, I have to have multiple conversations with multiple people, over multiple weeks.  He grudgingly agreed.  Before we parted, we exchanged cellphone numbers & hugs.

The next morning, Thomas emailed me, explaining Max wanted him to pass along his cellphone number to me, although I already had it.  James, my primary boyfriend, explained that was a guy's way of finding out whether or not Thomas was okay with Max dating me.

This situation will lead to a very interesting conversation with me & Thomas.  Because Thomas is not able to explain his emotions easily, he has never told me where we stand, in terms of our relationship.  I do not know if he considers me his girlfriend, booty call, fuck buddy or what.  I do not know if he gave me Max's number because he wants someone else to attempt to make me happy or because he really does not care enough about me to stop it.  I have no idea.

The only way I can have this conversation with Thomas is in person, otherwise he will perceive it as rude.  Sometimes I see him four times a week.  Sometimes I see him once every 2 weeks.  I have even seen him once in 6 months.  So, I have no idea when the conversation will occur.

In the meantime, Max & I communicate by text daily & he tells me frequently, that he "just want to watch a movie & kiss".   James, giggles at me, knowing only such a situation would occur in my life, as I add another disciple to my altar.