Another Biopsy

My daddie goes in for another biopsy December 26th. It also happens to be his birthday. Hopefully, this time the doctors will get enough of a sample of whatever they need to get a sample of to find out if he needs a bone marrow transplant. My mom has requested that I join her for the festivities. As always, I will be there for both of them.

Probation Lady: Take II

While working recently, my probation lady called, saying I had missed my probation appointment. When I reminded her that during my first & supposedly last visit she said I did not have to visit her again, because I was on administrative probation, she replied that she was not able to get me into that program. Therefore, I had to visit her again on the following Thursday.

I marched in the following Thursday. She basically explained for paperwork purposes I had to have a pee test every three months, along with stopping by briefly to visit, before leaving. She again pointed to the huge pile of files on her desk & shook her head, saying the state was wasting both of our times.

I really have no problem visiting her at all. In my head, it’s just another chapter in my book. Besides, I think she is kind of cool.

Biopsy Completed

My mother called a few minutes ago to let me know that my daddie had successfully completely his biopsy. The procedure will let us know whether or not he will need a bone marrow transplant, as a result of being treated for his non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma with chemotherapy. Sadly, my mother said she would not get the results until December 4th. However, because my mother is a nurse at the same hospital he is being treated, she may have access to his files as early as Tuesday, although she is not positive.

Dancing Nekkid!

I am currently dancing & singing nekkid, while listening to Pandora, in my old boyfriend’s closed gaming store, as he entertains his mother for Thanksgiving dinner at a local restaurant. I did not want to go with him, because they have somewhat of a cantankerous relationship. Every time I have been with them, there is an underlying hostility, although I am sure they love each other. So, I requested to be left behind.

It took him a bit to get used to the idea, considering I am technically his guest & he thought he was being delinquent in his responsibilities, if I was left alone. He even texted me several times, while he was gone.

However, I am absolutely thrilled to know I am probably the most entertaining & hottest thing this Geek store has ever seen!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE. I hope you are dancing nekkid somewhere too!

Aren’t I a stinker?

I plan to head to New Jersey for the Thanksgiving holiday. An old boyfriend wants to take me to the Macy’s Parade in New York City.  In addition,  his 20^th high school reunion is the day after Thanksgiving. I told him some time ago that I would go, dressed skanky; to make all the boys who made his high school days miserable jealous, as they sadly displayed their morbidly obese wives who no longer give them blow jobs. Aren’t I a stinker?

A Failing in my Personality

I finally chatted with my mother, when she was sober, about my father’s cancer. She was completely logical & calm, saying that she did not need me to visit, until she knew for sure something was wrong. This is the woman who raised me, not the inebriated one I spoke to the day before. I could tell she was in her no nonsense “nurse” mode. I will go ahead & listen to her advice & sit tight, until she has further news.

I have learned that I do not like being around sick people. They make me feel helpless, because I cannot help them. In my father’s case, I would not stay away, simply for that reason. He is the exception.

I realize that such a notion is a failing in my personality, which is a bit odd, considering I was raised by a nurse. I have an old boyfriend who was chronically sick, with epilepsy, sleep apnea, & other assorted ailments. He was the first sick boy I ever dated. He will also be the last. 

When I was with him, I was always concerned something was going to happen, such as a seizure. I also got am icky feeling in my tummy, when I saw his army of medication of the counter of my bathroom, when he visited overnight.

Whoring & Dating

Recently, a member of the escort industry contacted me, wanting to develop a personal relationship. As I tell everyone, please go to OKCupid to get started. Most people do & then they fall short of my standards for seeing me in person. However, he took me up on my request & now I am screwed. I know that we had a connection in the industry. I did not know that we are more compatible then I realized. The only problem is he still participates in the industry heavily, whoring whenever the funds allow. 

I really want to remove myself from the industry completely. I believe my arrest was a bitchslap from the universe & my cheek is still healing. He on the other hand, loves whatever the industry has given him. I cannot see him staying away from it.

I have no problem with my partners seeing whores. In fact, I think it’s rather healthy, as long as everyone is honest about it. My problem is I know he is a gossip or at least he was when I chatted with him. He likes whores because they make him feel important for a short period of time. He says that would not be the case. However, I do not know him well enough to judge that. My instinct tells me to just let this one go too.

The Redskins & my Mother

I went to visit my parents over the weekend. As I walked into the house, after not seeing them for two months, my mother shushed me. I was stunned. Not because of the shushing itself, but because of the reason she was shushing me. She was watching a football game! 

I never recall my mother watching any type of sporting event, including my own little league games. However, she now sat before me watching the Redskins game, with an intensity I had never seen before. Apparently, my father was doing something in the basement, so she yelled scores & plays down to him every 60 seconds, as he joyfully listened. I was truly speechless. What the hell happened to my mother?!

Because I was only allowed to make a noise during the commercial, I piped up & asked what happened? She said she needed to learn to bond with my father in a new way after his retirement, so she choose football! My father sat down & explained the ends & outs of the game & apparently had given her an addiction. Although I wanted to ask her more questions, just for the entertainment value, I was unable to. The damn wench shushed me again, as the game return to the television!

"You need to click more than a mouse to be a criminal. You have to click a gun."

I dropped my motorcycle last week. I also happened to be on it, when it went down. Luckily for me, I was going at a very slow, probably less than 5 miles an hour. Although my leg was a bit bruised, along with the road rash, I was able to ride my motorcycle home. A friend mentioned that he received a worse injury, when he went over the handlebars of his bicycle.

I am having a very difficult time of getting a reputation as a badass. My probation officer laughed at me after my sentence, saying “You need to click more than a mouse to be a criminal. You have to click a gun.” I was hoping to get a little notch in my badass belt, by having a little scar from the motorcycle accident. However, it seems that my motorcycle laughed at me too!

"That’s one of the few moments in my life I was speechless."

As I was being moved from lock up to the Commissioner’s Office at 2am, the day of my arrest, in February, I was in handcuffs & ankle chains. As we were in the van, the guards transferring us insisted playing “What’s Your Crime?” One by one, they went through the roster of prisoners. (I insisted on being called a guest, since “prisoner” sounds so icky. Funny enough, the boys complied, with a grin!)

Once they got to me, one said in a very game show like manner “Ladies & gentleman, what is her crime?” The others piped up, responding “tax evasion, IT theft, ID theft”. I asked “Since I am in these badass restraints, can I come up with a crime equally badass?” The guard responded with “We don’t care what you say, as long as you don’t tell us you killed cop!”

That’s one of the few moments in my life I was speechless.

" I obviously stuck out like a neon green condom"

I went to my first & apparently last probation appointment today. The lobby was a cesspool of comedy. People in our society think that the vast majority of people on probation & parole are brown people. However, in my county, everyone is beige. I did not see anyone other than redneck white trash for the first hour of waiting for my probation lady. I obviously stuck out like a neon green condom, considering I had no tattoo on my forehead. Now, mind you, I have wanted to bond with my redneck white trash brethren from time to time. However, this was not what I had in mind.

Once I finally saw the probation lady, she was surprised at the amount of the fine, as well as the length of the sentence. I mentioned I was a media focus. We agreed the sentence was harsher as a result of the attention. In reality, I couldn’t care less, as long as I wasn’t in jail.

After asking me a few questions, such as what I did for a living & who I lived with, she said I needed to turn in some paperwork, I left it behind & I would be done. When I asked for clarification on “done”, she responded that I was on administration probation. I do not have to visit on a regular basis, nor do I have to call in, or take drug tests. I have no restrictions on my lifestyle, except I have to notify her, if I move. Oh yeah, I can’t carry a firearm, get high, or beat the shit out of anyone. I guess I will have to cancel that part of my next spa visit!

"What happened to all of the money they made, charging $300.00 an hour?"

I am puzzled as to why whores will post on message boards, asking for money for health problems or attorney fees. What happened to all of the money they made, charging $300.00 an hour?

I suppose I could have done the same thing. However, my pride got in the way, along with a sense of responsibility. I have always believed that no matter what happens to me in life, I should accept the consequences, without blaming or asking someone else to bail me out.

“Where were the two of you six months ago, when I was arrested?”

I was working my manual labor job today, when a concerned co-worker left a message asking that I return her call immediately. Once I was on my break, I did. She wanted to make sure I was okay, because someone saw me on the news today. I laughed! I said, “Where were the two of you six months ago, when I was arrested?” The news today was just in reference to my guilty plead last week.

The lazy local news websites just repeated what the original reporter wrote the day after my last court appearance. You would have thought they would have found a more flattering picture, rather than reuse my mug shot!

Cookies & Guns

As promised, I did take cookies to give to the people I met on my journey today. Sadly, they were not allowed into the building. I had to leave them with the security boys at the entrance. They promised to take good care of them, if they were allowed a few samples. When I returned, half the box was gone & the boys were smiling. Yummmy!

Potty On.

Today, I went to my probation intake. A probation intake is when a person is processed for probation. I had one of those surreal moments, when I had to give a pee test for drugs. I took a potty buddy with me, in order to prevent me from puncturing a vial of clean pee that could have been shoved up my twat. (That is something I have wanted to try for years!)

While on the potty, I mentioned that I had always had a difficult time peeing in front of people, even in a full SCUBA diving outfit, in the middle of the ocean. My potty buddy went on to say that she had hoped to go SCUBA diving too, although her first goal was to travel to the Caribbean. You know I just never thought I would have a conversation about Jamaica, while peeing in front of someone!

"There are very few people in life that will run to your help you in times of desperation."

I have learned a very power lesson, awaiting my trial. There are very few people in life that will run to your help you in times of desperation. The ones that do, should be loved, respected, rewarded, & appreciated.

I was a bit surprised at the people who I thought would be more supportive, such as my brother. My brother, Edwin, has been a sad spirit, since his mid-twenties. I am not sure what happened in his life to make him disheartened. I am not sure if he is sad about life in general or me specifically. Whatever the answer, we have not had a heart felt conversation in 10 years, until three weeks after my arrest.

I was a bit puzzled as to why he did not contact me. The police took my personal cell phone, so I had no idea of how to contact him. In addition, because of the nature of our relationship & me being the focus of a bad situation, I thought he should be the one to reach out to me. When three weeks had passed, I contacted my mother & mentioned how disappointed I was in him. I also asked her to have him contact me & if he did not I was no longer interested in him, as a brother.

 

He promptly called two days later. Sadly, I was not able to talk to him directly, so he left a message. The message was disappointing. In his first sentence, he did not say something like “We have not connected in some time & I would like to make sure you are okay.” He instead said “I heard something bad happened to you.” His final sentence was “If you have any questions, please call.”

Well, I had questions, so I called. He answered & I told him I had two questions. The first one was, “Why did it take you the prompting of our mom to have you call me?” & “Why has it taken you 10 years to have a conversation with me?”

He replied with “I do not want to go into that”. I responded with “I really appreciate you calling. However, you have not been supportive of me in the last 10 years. Therefore there is no need for you to be supportive now. I truly wish you & your family well.” Then, I hung up.

I promptly called my parent’s home to let them know what happened. My father, home recovering from Hodgkin's lymphoma (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hodgkin's_lymphoma) answered. I relayed him the conversation I had with my brother. I heard him cry for the first time in 35 years. He said that Edwin often made him feel like he blamed my parents for something that has made him sad in his life. He said that when my brother called to ask him about his recovery, he asked the correct questions; however, there was no warmth in his voice.

My father then went on to say that no matter what had taken place in my life, I have always accepted responsibility, without blaming others. My brother seemed to be different in that regard.

Because I have not had an emotional connection with my brother in 10 years, I do not feel any regret over my conversation with him. In fact, I am proud of myself for standing up to him.  Up until two years ago, my parents have always assumed that we were both treating each other poorly. However, when I reached out to him & his family in a very generous manner & he refused me, without explanation, my parents realized he was the one with a sad heart.

My parent’s greatest concern is that when they die, my brother & I will have no connection & therefore the family will disappear. I suppose because I am so young, I cannot see that occurring. Perhaps when I am older, my brother will mean something to me.

Media Inaccuracies

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Court Tomorrow?

Tomorrow I go to court for the final time. No, I am not excited, nor nervous. One of the quirks of my personality is that I have a tendency to remain calm in the craziest of situations. In fact, the arresting detective asked if I had been arrested previously, because I was so calm.

In addition, my court date has been postponed numerous times. It would not surprise me in the slightest if nothing happens tomorrow.

Personal & Professional

The most amazing thing happened after my trial was over. For the first time in my life, my personal & professional persona were able to happily coexist. Prior to my misfortune, I had to hide one facet of my personality or the other. In polite society, a whore would not be well educated & drug-free, nor would an educated woman be empowered by her sexuality.

I was able to “come out” to all of my friends & family with the notion that I have no regrets over being a whore. I absolutely loved what the industry did for me, including financial stability, confidence, a sense of purpose, & most importantly, making the lives of all those I touched more beautiful.

Final Sentence

Jeebus, I forgot to tell you what happened yesterday in court. I suppose I got so excited that it was almost over that it slipped my mind. I plead guilty to one count of assignation (scheduling appointments for prostitutes). All of the other counts were dropped. I was sentenced to three years probation, without any jail time.

Frustration

I am incredibly frustrated.  Although my attorney, Barry, is brilliant when it comes to the courtroom, he is a twit, when it comes to anything administrative.  Apparently, he double booked my next court appearance which was originally this Friday.  Therefore, he had to reschedule me & I have to wait an additional three weeks to get on with my life.  By then, it will be six months from the time I was arrested to the time I am able to complete the stupidity of the court process.  It feels like it is never ending.

phone sex operator ~ professional dominatrix ~ whore ~ couples sex instructor ~ web designer ~ writer ~ empowered human being ~ happy spirit

Last night, I was invited out to dinner & drinks, by my dear friend, Richard.   As I recall, the last time I saw Richard in person was when he picked me up from jail. It’s amazing how such an event can bond two people in the oddest way.

 

He commented on how good I looked & how well my spirit seems to be thriving in the face of adversity. As things go, I was a bit sad for the two months after my arrest. However, I came to understand that without the arrest, I would not be able to move on with my life & truly come to terms with every facet of my world. Before, I had to hide one or the other. I was not a whole person to everyone I met, although they thought otherwise.

 

Now, I am proud to fully disclose to anyone who I am. Interestingly, it seems to endear people more to me. 

 

~ phone sex operator ~ professional dominatrix ~ whore ~ couples sex instructor ~ web designer ~ writer ~ empowered human being ~ happy spirit ~

I was also incredibly happy to hear that he is doing well too. When he worked with me, as my personal assistant, he commented on how much he really enjoyed what he did for me & would like to do more, but on a corporate level. I convinced him to start a corporate concierge service, guiding him along the way, as much as I could. I gave him information on web design, marketing, & a general business model. In 8 short months, he is so busy & so good; he had to hire an assistant to do computer related projects! I love when people are successful & I can in some small way enjoy it with them.

Ihop

Several days ago, I went with my James to I hop. As we approached the host, he said, “Oh you are here with your daughter?” James, being 14-years older than I, just grinned. To the left, the manager of the restaurant overheard the conversation & nervously giggled. James turned towards the manager & said “I guess he is not working for tips.” The manager nodded. The host then said “I meant you are here with your husband”. I replied “He much more fun than that!” From time to time, the host would pass us at our booth, as he was seating others. However, he could not look us in the face.

Today, when my parents visited, in order to pick up my furniture, we decided to return to I hop for lunch, telling everyone in the group the story from the previous day. They giggled with delight, when we found out that the same host & the manager were both there. Apparently, the manager said something to the host after we left, because when he saw James again, he apologized profusely. Loving to make boys squirm, I gave my father a big hug, calling him daddie. I then turned around to James & gave him a big hug, calling him daddie! Both manager & host blushed from ear to ear.

Trial Date Changed

I found out today that my trial date has been changed to unknown date. In addition, the county is moving is from the district level up to the circuit level. The difference in the two levels is that they play harder ball on the circuit level & a jury trial can be requested. My attorney believes the county has moved the trial date because they do not have their act together & they are stalling. Whatever the reason, I am disappointed. I was really looking forward to getting this over with.

Candy Twizzler Noose

I have had a few people ask what happened to the original whore, whose arrest led to me. She immediately signed over her rights & answered all of the cop’s questions. So, they dropped her charges. Yes, that’s right. They dropped her charges. So much for asking for an attorney. The ironic thing is although she thought she was helping herself out, by speaking to the cops, she made herself look really bad.

No, I am not going to give you her new stage name. I have had too many internet cowboys who wanted to “get her back”. Listen folks, she is not worth it. Leave the wench alone.  Furthermore, in the end, I will be the one who makes this whole fiasco the opportunity of a lifetime, while she remains in the exact same place she was, when she prostituted herself.

Funny story: A friend of mine called her up, in order to pay her a visit. She remembered him & was so comfortable she started talking about me. She said I had left her hanging, when she was arrested, specifically because I did not call her after the arrest. I was sitting right next to him, when he was speaking to her & heard the whole thing. We also knew by that time, she was cozy with the cops. It sounds like in reality she was the one who tied the noose around my neck, rather than the reverse. Luckily, it was a candy Twizzler noose that breaks easily & tastes yummy.

Nude Wrestling

I was contacted today from an old acquaintance who I did nude wrestling with a few years ago, who happens to be a cop. It seems her husband really gets off on it. She wants to go at it again! She says I should have some pent up anger from the arrest. Only in my world!

Think

I am moving in the near future. I purchased a house in April of 2007 & I absolutely LOVE it. It was built in 1933 & has all of the original hardwood floors. It is beautiful. However, I HATE house living. I hate mowing the lawn, maintaining the the basement, & general up keep. I have had many suggest I move into a condo. However, I want nothing to do with taxes. I also prefer to have people come & fix my stuff, when something goes wrong. Therefore, I am moving back into a one bedroom apartment.

It's funny. When I went to look at some apartments, I felt instantly relieved, as I walked into the models. They were small, organized, & cozy. I knew I was making the correct decision. The change in philosophy would have never been possible, unless I took the time to live in my own house. It's certainly nothing someone can teach you.

If you think having your own home is the American dream, think again. Think about all the time, money & energy you will spend on your house. Think of the taxes. Think of the insurance. Think of the home owner's association. Think about it. Think about it again. As long as I am alive, no matter how much money I make, I seriously doubt I will ever own a home again.

Bumping Naughties

When I try to find the source of my sex positive philosophy on life, there is one main source, my mother. She never ceases to amaze & entertain me. On my last trip to my parent’s house, she began to try & motivate me to the guest house. I guess I was not moving fast enough, when she said, “Look, I have not had sex with your father in a week, due to the family reunion. You know how loud I can be. If you would take your act over to the other house, I would be grateful.”

When my father first went to the hospital for his cancer diagnosis, I was very careful to knock on the room door & wait for my mother to say “Come in” or to call in advance, from the parking lot, to let her know I was on my way. My fear was I would open the door too soon & see my parents bumping naughties!

I am sure my father’s quick recovery has to do with his medical treatment. However, I am positive my mother’s naughtiness was a huge help.

My Daddie

As I mentioned in a previous post, the day before my arrest, my daddie was diagnosis with Hodgkin's lymphoma. As you can imagine, my family's focus was rightfully on him, rather than the media coverage of one little whore.

I am currently sitting in my parent's living room. I am happy to report that my daddie is doing incredibly well. He has two more chemotherapy sessions over the next month & he will be done for a bit. He was one of the few who had no ill affects associated with the chemo, which usually includes nausea, tiredness, hair loss, & weight loss. He was actually looking forward to the weight loss!

Commisioner's Office

In my state, once a person is allowed to leave their holding cell, they are transferred to the Commissioner's Office. The Commissioner is the boy or girl who decides if you get bail, go back to jail, or go home to stay out of trouble on your own. When I arrived at the Commissioner's Office, he had no idea what to do with me.

He read my report, which was 26 pages. Most are three. Then, he started talking about drug court. When I asked him what drug court was, he said "It's where we take a look at your drug abuse & attempt to give treatment for all prostitutes." I looked at him & said, "So I will be the only sober person there?" I then went on to say "I am a bit insulted. Although in this country, I am innocent until proven guilty, you have already made a judgement about me. Furthermore, you have already decided that I am a drug abuser." I leaned forward & said "Do I look like a drug abuser?"

He was stunned. Obviously, it never occurred to him that he was offensive. I am sure he had the same conversation with thousands of whores, without anyone saying anything in response, except for a nod of the head. He had never met me!

He went back to shaking his head with his eyes lowered. He quickly decided to send me home, without the need for bail. I am sure he did that just to get me out of his office, rather than because of my case!

The Rumor Mill

The sexworker industry is a funny little beast. If you do not feed its need for information, it will create it & make it seem factual. For example, I never gave any information about another industry worker. Once I was arrested, I lawyered up immediately. I refused to answer any questions & was left alone by the cops. Once I was released from the holding cell, after twelve hours, I was never contacted by the cops or the prosecution. I never gave them any information about the original whore who was arrested.  I had too much respect for either lady to help make their lives even more uncomfortable.

The best thing about being arrested & removing me from the industry was not having to deal with all of the rumors that are constantly flying about. To foster that, I refused to even look at the message boards or answer my emails. I returned to a wonderful state of dullness. There is a lot to be said for dullness.

Phone Sex

I have taken up phone sex, as an additional income source. I actually did it quite a bit, prior to the arrest. However, as a result of my income going towards my criminal defense attorney, I have taken it up full-time, during the off season of my manual labor job, which would be July through August & January through February.

 

I work on four different billing platforms, including NiteFlirt, TalkSugar, PhoneEncounters, & a dispatch service, which uses an 800 number. No, I am not going to tell you where you can find my character. That ruins the fantasy.

In the future, I will be sharing the zany world of phone sex, for example, the man who likes to masturbate with ham sandwiches. No, I never could figure that one out. Maybe he’s Jewish!

Game Over

These are the details of my court appearance today. I never actually went into the courtroom. My attorney & the prosecution negotiated in the hallway. I am going to plead guilty to one count, assignation (scheduling appointments for prostitutes); the other three counts will be dropped. I will most likely get parole for two years. After that, I will file to have the parole changed to "parole before judgment". If it is accepted, my record will be expunged after about 4 years. I will serve no jail time. The prosecutions said have fun writing the book.  This is what has been negotiated. So things are pretty much done. However, I do not officially submit my plea, until the beginning of August.

Moving Sale

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I am selling my three bedroom house, I purchased just over a year ago. I LOVE my house. However, I hate house living. Although having a house is the American dream, it certainly was not my dream. My mortgage is bad enough at $2500.00 a month, but the additional cost, energy & time spent in maintenance are simply not worth it to me. So, I will be moving into a studio apartment, costing $850.00 a month, including utilities. The amount I save will be socked away for my retirement. 

I am going to very busy for the next month dealing with going from a large home to a studio apartment. My first job is to have a major moving sale. Not only will I be selling most of the stuff, including the house, I will also be selling my 1972 VW bug. I've gotten great advice about moving sales on the internet (http://www.yardsalequeen.com/yardsale.htm). I am even thinking about talking to my neighbors about joining me, in order to split the costs of advertising.

I also have to coordinate my parents coming to pick up the family antiques that they prefer be returned to their home, rather than be put in storage. That reminds me, I have to put in a reservation for the U-Haul!

Soul Geek

A few weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend, Matthew, of 2 years. I had decided we were no longer compatible, but we still remain friends. In fact, I was hoping he had checked out some other wenches. He had. I was pleasantly surprised where he began his search. He went to http://www.soulgeek.com/. I have to admit, I love geeks. However, I am not geek enough to have much luck on such a site. I thought you may be!

Future Plans

Once the trial is over, I hope to profit off of it in a HUGE way. I would like to have many books (book signings, touring, radio shows, and talk shows), adult sex classes, retreats, & a website dedicated to all things erotic. In my perfect world, perhaps I could have my own radio show. However, the trick to all of that is I have to be found not guilty or have the charges dropped against me, because in my state, a criminal cannot profit off of a crime. Either way, I am sure I can come up with something.

Discovery

I received the discovery of my case early. The discovery is all the information & evidence the prosecution has compiled on the defendant. In it, it says that the whore who was originally arrested signed over her Miranda rights & answered all of the cop’s questions, including giving them all the passwords to her websites & schedulers, which of course makes her an administrator.

My instincts were indeed correct when I chose not to speak to her or the cops, after I was arrested, considering they had already been talking to each other. For anyone who is involved in the industry & who is associating with the original whore, under her new name, please be aware of three things 1) she has no loyalty. 2) She is comfortable talking to the cops. 3) She reacts irrationally in stressful situations. That sounds like a ticking time bomb to me. It’s just another reason for me to be grateful for moving on with my life.

Woman believed to be 'D.C. madam' commits suicide

James, my primary boyfriend, just told me that Debra Palfrey, “The DC Madam”, committed suicide (http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-05-01-dcmadam-suicide_N.htm). I am incredibly sad. She follows the same pattern as Brandy Britton (http://www.crimelibrary.com/news/original/0207/0601_brandy_britton.html). During her media attention, Debra said “I guess I'm made of something that Brandy Britton wasn't made of." It was reported that Debra also said she, too, was humiliated by her prostitution charges.

Am I any different? I would like to think that I am. I am in no way humiliated by my charges. In fact, once I was able to think clearly, I realized how empowered I have been by the industry. I would never have the confidence, financial security, or wonderful experiences without it. In strongly believing that, I cannot be humiliated. Perhaps I am humbled by my arrest, but not humiliated.

When I passed on the news to Matthew, my secondary boyfriend, by IM, he said:

Me: the dc madam committed suicide

Me: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-05-01-dcmadam-suicide_N.htm

Matthew: aw damn

Matthew: You better not!

Me: she follows a pattern of arrested whores: http://www.crimelibrary.com/news/original/0207/0601_brandy_britton.html

Matthew: Yeah I know about her

Me: I don't think I will. Brandy & Debra both mention they were humiliated. I am not.

Me: I am empowered by the industry

Matthew: You're empowered in general.

Matthew: You're not only a phenomenal woman, you see no shame in the escorting industry.

Matthew: These are likely women who felt sort of dirty about it in the first place & couldn't handle the moral problems they faced from society's disapproval

Matthew: I mean for her, that seems to make a satisfactory explanation...if it was just the fear of being jailed she would have waited until after sentencing

Me: true

Matthew: yeah, "humiliated"

Matthew: that's not in the cards for you

Me: Perhaps I am humbled by my arrest, but not humiliated.

Matthew: I love you largely because you AREN'T

Me: humble?

Matthew: it's one of the most admirable facets of your personality.

Matthew: no, humiliated

Matthew: you make no apologies for who you are.

Matthew: your self-esteem doesn't get broken by other people's opinions of you

Matthew: that is so rare in women, and most men, it isn't funny

Me: thank you

 

Make Sure She Screws Herself

My attorney is puzzled that the originally arrest whore has remained in the industry after her arrest. At this point, we do not know whether or not she is testifying against me in court. In order to make sure she screws herself, if she does, I am in the process of finding a boy who has paid her for sex after her arrest. Obviously, this is a difficult thing to do, considering most boys are married & would not want to go to court to testify that they committed a crime.

My thought is if she does testify against me, my attorney will ask if she is still prostituting herself. More than likely she will answer no. After all, who would want to admit that in court? Then, we would have her client testify that he just saw her & paid for sex. We may be able to have all of testimony dismissed, because she perjured herself.

My attorney knows nothing of my plan. Legally, he cannot ask that someone commit a crime. However, what he doesn’t know will not kill him. On the other hand, she may not even testify against me.

Magazine Interview

I was interviewed by a writer for Salon.com magazine last night. The focus of the piece was the latest media perception of call-girls, verses reality. It actually it was somewhat of a homecoming for me, considering I was interviewed for Salon.com many years ago, when my career first began.

As in all interviews, you never know what will actually be printed. However, she liked my stories & the positive message I conveyed about the industry so much that she may interview me again for other projects.