"She cannot do that for herself & I cannot do it for her."

My relationship with my new girl friend, Rachel, seems to be ending. I realized within three weeks of meeting her that I was not able to give her what she wanted emotionally.

She texted me on a Thursday afternoon, after not seeing me for several days, because of our schedule & said she was disappointed in me for hanging up on her the previous Monday.  I asked her to give me details, because I didn't remember.  It did not help.  I apologized for hurting her feelings, saying I would be more cautious in the future.  That was not enough.

In the end, she wanted to hear that I she had value in my life & wanted to know how much that value was.  I was speechless.  After three weeks, she had little to no value in my life.  Uninterested in hurting her feelings, I said, with guidance from my boyfriend, James, that "I show people that I value them, by giving them my time & energy."  Rachel was silent for several days.  Finally, she came around & said she had digested that I could not give her what she needed, which was indeed correct.  

Since then, I've texted her a few times a week, but I've not seen her in three weeks.  Much of that was because she went on a trip to the other side of the country.  But even then, I have not missed her.

When I met Rachel & she shared with me her past, filled with neglect & abuse of all kinds.  I thought she was an incredibly strong women for not dwelling in the past.  However, I realize based upon the parting of our spirits that she is still a little girl who needs to feel needed & valued.  She cannot do that for herself & I cannot do it for her.