James's Divorce

James, my primary boyfriend, is in the process of getting divorced.  If everything goes as planned, it should be finalized on Oct. 1, 2010.  The process has been surprisingly amicable.  Once they went into counseling, James, finally told his wife the polyamorous lifestyle he wanted to live.  Sadly, the lifestyle he wants to live was not the one he & his wife had agreed to when they got engaged.  Although he told her he preferred to keep his marriage, as well as have additional romantic partners (not just sexual) during the therapy session, she rightly did not accept his philosophy.  Why should she?

Although I have never spoken to her, she has my deepest respect.  I was very proud of her for standing up to him & telling him she would not accept that arrangement.  Many women would have blamed themselves or worse.  In addition, she has help to create the man that I love.  Without her, there would be no him.

I can only wish her the very best.  I was completely charmed by her desire to have their marriage of 25-years annulled in the Catholic Church.  Being a good little agnostic,  I wasn't even aware they still did that.  Perhaps her intentions are to remarry.  What a wonderful thought.  I hope she finds someone who is worthy of her time, energy & love.  I also hope she finds someone who has her same lovestyle whether, monogamous or otherwise.

Update

James moved in yesterday. Things went incredible well & seemingly smooth, with the help of one of our girl crushes. Without her, we would have moved much more slowly, considering we found out she is quite the task master & neat freak. We would have moved a box from one apartment to the other & then chatted for an hour, while sipping homemade Sangria! For James, the move was a bit of a ritual, as he left one life to begin another. From time to time, I would glance at him & he would smile & say something like, “I can’t believe we are really doing this. I am so happy.”

My daddie seems to be doing better, considering he has now begun preparations for his bone marrow transplant. Earlier in the year, things seemed to have fallen apart, when he was not approved for the transplant, because the cancer would not go into remission during the prep time. My mother called me in a state of incredible sadness, as she said, “I don’t know who I am anymore.” She has had to go into retirement, in order to take care of my daddie. Because she is a nurse, she felt lost, not being able to take an active part in hospital life. However, when I spoke to her earlier this week, she said “This retirement thing is not so bad after all!”

James Moves In

My boyfriend of two years, James, & I have decided to move in together at the end of September. Although I had originally requested that for the fall of 2010, due to circumstances in his life, we choose to move the time frame up a year.

I am a bit nervous, because I have not lived with anyone else in six years. However, as we have gone through the process of picking out a new place, as well as discussing finances, I become more & more comfortable. We communicate incredibly well. I think as long as we keep that up, we will be successful.

Our sex lives will probably become more intense & varied, once he moves in, because he will have the ability to stay with me for extended periods of time. We are planning a trip to a local swing club in celebration, as well as becoming more active in the BDSM, pagan, & poly communities. In addition, we recently had a yummy threesome with one of our favorite girl crushes. Once we move in together, we hope to entertain her more, as well as others.

Slipping Through The Cracks

I went for my third probation appointment recently. This time is with a different officer. Apparently my previous officer was no longer working in that office. Now that I think about it, I am sure there is a great deal of turn over. I can’t imagine that the job pays very well or that there is much gratitude.

She went over my case, just as the other had, asking the same questions & completely perplexed as to the amount of the fine ($1000.00) & the length of the probation (3 years). When I explained the circumstances of the arrest & the media attention, she just shook her head. Then, she started pointing at the folders on her desk. I finished her thoughts in words, saying “Yeah, I know it’s a waste for me to be here. However, if I wasn’t, you would not be able to take a break, by enjoying these yummy cookies with me!” I then pulled out a bag of cookies from my bag. She smiled & nodded.

It was then I realized she was in the latter stages of pregnancy. She went on to explain that she was due in September & that I probably would not see her again. Yes, ladies & gentlemen. That means I have to go through the same process with another poor officer, along with my bag of cookies. (The corset cookies were a big hit a few months ago. Perhaps I will bring them next time.)

I mentioned that my last officer requested that I take a pee test every few months, without a specific time frame involved. She agreed, saying that I should take another one, when I visited in September. That means it will be 8 months between pee tests. It seems I have fallen through the cracks yet again. Of course, it really doesn’t make any difference in my case, considering I do not take illegal drugs. However, I wonder how many others in the system have fallen through the cracks too.

For those keeping track, there were only three people in the waiting room, with tattoos on their foreheads!

James & His Other Girlfriend Broke Up

James broke up with his other girlfriend recently. Being polyamorous, I am completely accepting & appreciative of other sources of joy in his life. In this case, I knew this relationship would not last long. I even voiced my thoughts to James. However, what attractive, middle aged man is going to say, “No”, to a 20-year-old girl? The relationship lasted about a month & taught both of them a tremendous amount about each other & what they wanted in a partner.

In the end, it is definitely for the best, considering both I & James will be dealing with some major emotional stuff in this upcoming year. I am pretty sure his other girlfriend would not be very helpful. After all, when I was 20, I had difficulty focusing on anyone other than myself for more than a few hours. I am sure the same is the case with most 20-year-olds.

I do believe they will eventually have a physical connection again. I think she needs to go into the world & live a traditional lifestyle, before she can appreciate an alternative one. Either way, she will always be appreciated for the joy she brought to my partner’s life, no matter how short the duration was.

Massage Party

I went to massage party recently with James, at the home of one of my girl crushes. I have been at massage parties before & love them, especially when the chemistry is right with everyone involved.

This party concept was apparently new to all the other people involved. I got that hint when, as we were sitting in the kitchen, over & over again they discussed the rules. After a long uncomfortable pause, I got up & said "Yipppeeeeee...Let's get naked", as I grabbed a bottle of wine & some glasses, heading downstairs.

When we got downstairs, people got into their little groups. James came with me, as did the hostess. She apparently was a little uncomfortable with the dynamics of the other group, feeling that we would make her feel more comfortable. I helped further in that endeavor, by stripping to a smile, as did the people in my group.

Our group had been together before, at least by way of hugs, friendship & camaraderie. As James would tell you, he & my girl crush are like two twelve-year-olds, when they are together. They would probably pee on themselves, if someone had told a fart joke. However, James has only admired her physically with his eyes.

On the other hand, I had specifically played with my girl crush. She & I had a short lived physical relationship last year, only to flicker out, when other responsibilities & stresses came to our lives.

I went first. As I lied down, James stayed at the base of feet, knowing I get gushy & mushy, when someone kneads them. My girl crush, naked, with her boobs dangling in my face, stayed at my head. From there, I guided her to all of my yummy points.

After about 15 minutes of pure bliss, we switched with James getting in the middle. Because he of the masculine persuasion, his whole body is a g-spot. Therefore, we did not have to concentrate in on one place. He was perfectly happy to be the center of attention of two nekkid chicks, no matter what they were doing.

Finally, my girl crush went. She lay down before us, as though she was on an altar, stretched out like a cat. I stayed at her feet, with James at her head. We rhythmically began to massage her, starting at the two most distant points & slowing moving towards her center, eventually ending up just above her pelvic bone.

I am pretty sure the other group had a difficulty completing their massages, considering they stared at us in envy the entire time. Our last pose, was the three of us sitting in each other’s laps, like a sandwich, with my girl crush in the middle, smiling & enjoying our energy.

Whores Amongst Us

The whores in my former life have been coming out of the woodwork in the past few days. Recently, I was at my grocery store shopping late at night, when low & behold, I turned around and there was  one, leaning over the hot dogs and discussing the price with her companion. I immediately left my cart and headed for the exit, wanting nothing to do with anyone still in the business.

You would have thought my arrest would have given her a clue about her future, considering she, with her full legal name, where mentioned in my arrest report. I do believe she is intelligent enough to survive outside of the sex industry. Perhaps not focused enough, but definitely intelligent enough.

In addition, James received an email from a group of whores announcing a play party. He giggled, when it occurred to him that they were the same whores who have been putting on the same play parties for years. I told him he should go and enjoy himself.

I always believe in signs from the universe. I am not sure what these signs mean. I want to stay as far away from that world as possible. Perhaps it's just a reminder than I need to take my pee test!